Right now, nearly everyone's world is upside down.
As a spoonie and a mum, I have struggled but come to terms with that sometimes I need to feel content and accomplished enough by putting a load of washing on, or even just showering (and if we are honest there are days I just need to be thankful that baby and I even made it through alive and fed).
When my partner is home I find that the productivity seems to slow right down as we all seem to get up later in the day , lounge around a bit more and just keeping putting off the things that don't NEED to be done for survival. This generally means by the end of another late night I realised that nothing had really been done and i try to plan to get on top of things the next day to no avail. I seem to fall back into a spiral about not contributing anything or asking myself if I am a good mother... Blah...blah.. Anxious insomnia blah...
While I defiantly have days where I know that listened to my body well and kept within my limits of what my fibro would allow and did all I could. I also have days where I am relatively okay, my pain is manageable to an extent and I don't feel the need to drink 15 coffees a day to even lift my arm up, and I still do nothing because I rather chill on the couch with my partner and daughter. I have no motivation to catch up on the things I have been putting off on the bad pain days and alas nothing gets done. The following hours seems to be limbo of feeling lazy and giving myself a talking to about how the world doesn't stop and people need not only clean but folded clothes mixed in with the fact I just want to curl up and never move again.
I've come up with two solutions.
Write down a list of realistic goals for the day. For example : get dressed, hang out washing, make a dinner (not just microwave or order take away), go for a walk , call family or sort that bill that you have been avoiding, etc
Try to accomplish as many goals as you can off the list and even if its not all of then , hopefully you will see that you did the stuff you wanted and feel content with that
Or
Ride the way ! (this is becoming a part time favourite of mine).
Life crazy and while no one knows how long this is all going to last, it won't be forever. Order take out 4 nights out of the week if that's what you want to do for now, stay in your pjs all day for a month and watch every movie ever made.
Embrace the time with your family , and to yourself when you get the chance. Things do need to get done and you will get there. Sometimes motivation, while a lot of the time fleeting, will slap you upside the face and make you want to get on top of things, when it happens take the chance to do it, but in the mean time, go easy on yourself.
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